Saturday, November 12, 2005

Naked

Such bright beginnings full of hope and illustrious dreams of all powerful grandeur. We were meant to be the absolute perfection, succeeding where all others had and would always ultimately fail. Weighed upon our flimsy wills were our costumes of multicolored gifts. We would always win, always overcome, always withstand whatever might try and pull us down. To us, the world was to be an adventure that would be tamed simply by us navigating though it. How blinding it was, our ignorance. So determined to fit those preset molds, we eventually lost the gift of our individuality. As the years wore on, the rough road of life scraped away our shiny coats that we wore so proudly. Each step down the path stripped away a little more of the hoax that we tried so hard to convince ourselves was real. In the end we find ourselves standing naked surrounded by the tattered pieces of our ill-conceived lie. Arms bloodied from forcing ourselves through a place we were never meant to see, face bruised from the constant battles we had with our true identities. This moment, though scary and cold, is a chance at rebirth. We can go forward from here as a newborn soul that's had a glimpse of where the dark road goes. This can be the opportunity to step into reality with our eyes stretched open in an impenetrable glare that forces the voices of opposition to step aside. Only now, we get this chance. Who's to say that tomorrow shall bring it again? All hope isn't gone, is it?

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

On the Outside

The idea that I would never fit ran through my mind like a marquee with never ending lights, each bulb flashing out one more time that I would never be accepted in the world that I craved so much to be a part of. No matter how hard I tried, the current keepers would never free the gates and I was either unable or just unwilling to climb over. Sad that such a thing still exists in a land of taxes and jobs, responsibilities and obligations. Trivialities as these should have been left in the days of swings and slides, as they have no business in my sensible, mature idea of what the world should be.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Down the rabbit hole

I remember the fear. What should be a memory full of youthful zeal and excitement of newfound beginnings, is instead a darkened history of pain and despair. Years long since passed that should by now hopefully be forgotten, but painfully linger on, despite my best attempts to let them go. It's no wonder that people get lost in a magic pill or magic drink that numbs the ache of a tortured heart. That dead feeling would be far superior to the constantly scrolling movie of tears that plays in my mind everyday. Show me the potion that kills a past but leaves a future to grow anew and I would gladly partake of its poisonous contents.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

My Friend

My dear friend, after these long years, we have turned a shadowy acquaintance into a friendship that is real and true. It possesses a simple truth that outshines the most complex relationship, and has more allure than any passionate love could ever have. I adore the carefree hours we spend lost in conversations full of magic and hope, and relish the tranquil feelings I have when I depart your company. Such a peace could only be found in the presence of one that I truly feel at ease with. You, my friend, help me so much more than you will ever know. Your gentle kindness reminds me that there are those out there that still value sincerity and who still believe that a trusted friend has more worth than most anything else.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Empty Dolls

With heartfelt illusionary hugs, I hold these tarnished innocent souls close to my heart. I cry inside for the pain they have always lived with and for their futures which seem so impossible. These are the forgotten children that the world has closed their eyes to. They exist only in paperwork and files and few even know their names. Many will never meet their own goals in life much less anyone else's and some will just vanish without anyone noticing. Victims of the system that is supposed to serve them, these broken dolls have grown into empty shells of the lively beings they once were. Lost and blinded by their pain, they stray far into a darkened jumbled place that I can't even begin to understand. As their teacher, I can only hope to show them that there exists is a path back to being alive.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Blocked

The world was so much easier when words flowed from my fingertips as easily as water rushing through a mountain stream. My mind felt empty and free of the clutter of everyday life. So different from the current feeling of being trapped in my own twisted mind of complicated and inescapable thoughts.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Honor

"I was a bride. My dreams were taken from me. But now - now I've stolen them from someone else. I love you, Victor, but you are not mine." from The Corpse Bride


Precious few prizes are given in this world. Limited are the perfect unions of two hearts. Such a unifying force is rare in a place that values the expendable for being cheap and efficient. Memories are short lived and valuables are quickly replaced with little emotion or loss. Who am I to contribute to such a waste?