Down the rabbit hole

I remember the fear. What should be a memory full of youthful zeal and excitement of newfound beginnings, is instead a darkened history of pain and despair. Years long since passed that should by now hopefully be forgotten, but painfully linger on, despite my best attempts to let them go. It's no wonder that people get lost in a magic pill or magic drink that numbs the ache of a tortured heart. That dead feeling would be far superior to the constantly scrolling movie of tears that plays in my mind everyday. Show me the potion that kills a past but leaves a future to grow anew and I would gladly partake of its poisonous contents.