Sunday, November 27, 2005

Friends??

I had these friends once; they knew me so well and loved me, flaws and all. At my darkest of moments, they held true and not for a moment wavered in their devotion. You see, it's easy to say that you are friends with someone, but it doesn't mean anything until you show it. I was lucky, I knew people like this. I never really realized just how rare and prized such people are until now. I find myself surrounded by plastic people that look all shiny and great, but they are hollow on the inside. They care little for who I am and are simply content with the idea of who they think I should be. Suddenly I have become a trained seal putting on show for a crowd of spectators that can never be pleased. Such a performance is exhausting. Staring through these eyeholes that are not my own, it's becoming impossible to ignore the cheap plastic smell of my own mask that I am forced to wear. I seek with all my heart an ally who is willing to see me as me. Such a relief it would be to finally shed this stupid mask and regain my character which I have pushed so deep down inside. Surely there exists another that can value me for what I am, flaws and all.

3 comments:

Phoenix said...

so true.
so so so true.

i felt as if u have written out eveyrhting that was goin in my mid.
except for one thing.
i am afraid i've lost even the 'real' me, watever that was, in this whole mess...
pretense, one after the other..
lies, one after the other...
expectations...

aargghh

lovely post. hope find ur peac soon. nice blog. bbye.

The Witch Doctor said...

From one Gazoo to another... good luck hun... you are a very eloquent writer as well I hope you stick with it

Anonymous said...

Start by looking deep into a mirror. Be honest with your reflection, see it for all it is and then embrace who you are.