A Daydream

Bring on the passion.  Show me nights rich with old fashioned romance that would be the envy of any damsel from history’s long memory.  Create a day that pales night’s most vivid dreams and makes me wish for time to freeze just so I can experience it a little bit longer.  It’s not much that I ask, just magic. Magic in the form of starry-eyed young lovers that are lost in each other in the most heartfelt ways.  Surely a knight such as yourself can create delight without weighing it down with frenzy and can give me the enchantment that I so desire.  Show me my fairytale and provide me with a champion of my imaginings.

Exit

An exit strategy is what you need.  A quick and clean departure through well lit doors that pave the way to social freedom.  Escape from the cold windowless cell that bears your day-to-day resentments and step into the warm outdoors where options seem limitless.  Make a plan and set your eyes on the outlet.  The technicalities are mere bumps in the road and can be overcome with a certain amount of commitment to be a bit stronger when life requires it.   Without taking that leap into the brightly lit exterior, you are destined to fade into the shadows as the light inside you dies. 

A Reflection

It’s through a funhouse mirror that I see myself.  A collection of reality and fantasy that creates a picture that is impossible to recreate in real life, yet somehow I hold myself to standards that are nearly unattainable.  My mind says that I should be able to handle everything that is thrown my way, all the while smiling as though life is easy.  Fight through stress and frustration without showing the cracks that reveal my sensitivities that I hide close to my core.  It’s always the perfection that I seek, both in my psyche and in my physical presence.  A return to the days when thoughts and words flowed from my mind with a gentle ease that others envied.  The reclaiming of a spirit that knew no boundaries and saw all limitations as a chance to prove how much I could accomplish.  Hidden amongst my blurred reflection, such qualities still exist, but have yet to push their way into my distorted view.  It’s the stable clear image that I require in this land of circus freak likenesses.

Phoenix

From the ashes of love long dormant, a pristine moment prospers in the light of a newly formed fire.  A counter to the world of boundaries and limitations, this creation breathes freedom into the spirits of the ensnared victims of mature sensibilities.  Without shattering the sturdy frame of their sound existence, they are given a chance to temporarily break away from the steadfast solid ground and give themselves over to the swirling winds of uncertainty that float high into the unknown as smoke from a flame that once again has begun to burn.   

My Beautiful Anya

Joyful jubilance bubbles forth in giggling madness; eyes wide with innocence and hope. Unscarred by life’s sharp edges, she shines with a vibrancy that cannot be created; only radiated by one true of heart and spirit.  Each new day opens with a clean slate.  The past is a fog and the future never comes.  Every step is on a shimmering magic carpet that only ends at the farthest reach of her imagination.  All covering a heart that knows only love and gives it freely as if like breathing. 

A Letter

A long time ago when my days were new and my years fewer, I gave you my heart.  Sure, it was the wild carefree heart of a bird, but it was given absolutely.  From that first tender instant I knew I would forever have you in my world.  Regardless of the distance, both in miles and in emotion, and in spite of my unwillingness to acknowledge it, part of me always belonged to you. 

It’s in the quiet lingering moments when it all comes rushing back to me.  The butterflies in my stomach, the rumbling in my heart, the heat in my mind…  It’s like stepping back in time, but instead of the frantic rush of emotion that blinded me as a child, I feel a sense of comfort that things are back as they are meant to be. 

You, the one who loved me through my faults and flakiness, were always a steady presence in my life.  You created in me the idea that I deserved the best.  Taught me that I should be valued, appreciated, loved without trepidation.  And in doing so, made me expect such things from all who drew near.   I thank you truly for that.

Today I reach a point of acknowledgment instead of resolution.   It’s not about deciding to care, but rather admitting that I do.  The ache when you pull away confirms what has always been quietly true.  Just as my heart was given as a youth, it’s still dwells firmly in the palm of your hand and I see little chance that that will ever vary.

Just be gentle…

Run

Instinct says run.  All the signs are clear in their intent.  Disappointment, hurt, things that are not supposed to be present, loom overhead, blocking out the sparkling sky, leaving only desperate stinging darkness.  Like a wounded animal, retreat to safety and forget a clearly impossible task.  It is not worth shattering what currently exists in the hopes of creating a stronger connection that may never materialize.