Expiration Date

I am content in my role of being “of the moment,” but at the time feel confined by the knowledge that part of me must stay locked away, protected from the hurt of knowing that I carry an expiration date that limits my value. It’s the “for now” that troubles me. How do I let go when the possibilities of replacement hover in the background, just waiting for the slightest misstep?  How quickly does your mind pass from one to another?  I want so much to feel along with experience, yet fear seizes my heart the moment it begins to weaken.  There is no quick solution to this dilemma, only a request.  Give me my moment. In my time, forget all others and be mine.  Forget my expiration and pretend that we have eternity and perhaps what tangles my heart can drop away and allow me to believe.  

So Sappy...

I miss you...

Bipolar?

You can’t imagine what its like to see the world through my heart and eyes. What others see as dingy and typical, I see as glorious and new. Each item glows with an intensity that makes it pulsate with life. Bright pastels pour from every cell creating a fog of mystery and magic that encompasses all who stand near. One cannot help but to be romanced by the possibilities of all that surrounds us. But illusions all must have their boundaries.  Every glowing feature also bears a warning.  Tiny sharp thorns wrap their tentacles around every moment creating a peril that is often not seen until the damage has been completed.  Every step must be carefully placed in order to avoid the devastatingly beautiful snares that constantly drag you down. Without losing yourself in a field of lunacy, you can’t even begin to understand what it means to dance through life bearing the magical veil that I possess.

Trouble

I was safe.  No harm would come from my direction.  I meant it when I spoke those words.  I truly believed that history had died and with it died any chance of resurrection.  Funny how innocently wrong we can be.  In just a blink, sleeping demons awaken and bring with them a comfortable turmoil that slides in to place just as it had never left.  The part of me that I had always assumed had faded away was merely waiting, patiently, for the opportunity to breathe again.  

Guts

Somewhere there exists a place where my world can meet with what’s in my mind.  Everything I dream, fantasize, wish for, can find its feet in a solid world.  Instead of wandering through life with my eyes closed, I can see my thoughts played out before me in a grand demonstration of what could be.  

Sharing

Bewildered, she clutches her prize close to her chest.  Like a three year old unwilling to share, she wishes to be the sole owner of such a gift.  To some, sharing never comes easy.  Value seems to fade away when resting in the hands of another.  Somehow tainted, it becomes a mere object in place of a treasure.  To her, worth comes in the form of possession.  By passing the gift into the hands of another she destroys what makes the entity so powerful to begin with.  The moment it leaves her grasp, her heart deadens to its existence and she vows never to hold it near again.  

Bungee Jumping

Toes on the edge,

Peering over, the ground seems miles away

My heart quickens, my breath weakens,

I leap, eyes wide open to the possibilities

There is always the chance of failure

Of doom, ending, slamming into the rapidly approaching land

It’s the rush of maybe that makes it all exhilarating

To fall knowing that you may not fly is freeing

I plunge into a cloud of oblivion