Band-Aid

Ahh, delusions... They are a kind of band-aid for the heart. Rather than deal with the pain of change, cover it up with a smiley colorful sticker that convinces you that all is healed. Forget that beneath that perky shield lies a real wound that is going to have to be dealt with at some point.

Flooded

The stony walls that have long held back my flood of emotions are quickly developing cracks that reveal the weakness in my spirit. It's those simple things that are starting to eek away at my hardy core. Inconsistent friendships that wax and wane wear my heart so thin that I'd rather just be alone. Embarking into the evening with ghostly acquaintances hardly seems appealing to me anymore. Their shallow conversations and feigned interest no longer delude me into thinking that they are true. Solitude brings me far more comfort than their wretched deceit.

Choose!

Make a choice. Tomorrow may be too late and there's no going back. Tomorrow you can't wake up and tell yourself, I just want to try it one more time, because this moment, this decision making moment, will be forever gone.

Naive Little Me

With the eagerness of a child, I start each day with eyes blinded with hope and determination. I warn those that would hinder my path to stand clear, because I will obliterate opposition before I would stand for it to bring my spirit down. Too much has come to pass for me to step back into that darkened world of desperation and denial. This newly found brilliant trail carries with it a freedom I have long searched for and am not willing to sacrifice ever again.

Healing

With the freshness of an ocean wave, laughter washes through cleaning out the cobwebs in a life too long forgotten. It makes the heart beat faster and pushes the mind to forget the pain that hangs on from the past. Soft echoing laughter instills in all of its surroundings a renewed sense of energy and determination. As spring defrosts the dead of winter, this moment of glee restores so much lost hope.

Some bad advice

Take the simple road. Ignore all of those extra paths and stick to the way that is well paved and straight. When something comes along that seems shiny and interesting, look away, it's probably nothing anyways. There is no point in wasting your energy when good things don't really happen to good people. Your best bet is to just close your eyes and meander through life. If you were meant to be successful, you will be. If it doesn't work out, at least you never gave any effort. Don't feel bad if you get to the end of your life and find it empty, free of interest and excitement. That's the price you pay. But isn't it worth it?

Cracking up

You truly find out who is real in your life when you lie broken in a million pieces. Those who really care are the ones that stick around to help sweep up the many fragments of your broken heart and the pretend, they start to vanish as soon as the first few cracks appear. It is the real that I cherish so much right now. Forget the idealistic dreamers (like I once was) and give me something I can sink my teeth into. No stories, no lies, no situations that seem to need constant padding. In this state of being so carefully glued together, I need to be bound up with simple adoration. My many wounds need the attention of someone who is strong enough to defy and true enough to remember that I was once whole and am determined to be so again.